Where Are the Violent Men? In the Church?
Emma Murphy's black eye has been viewed more than six million times since she uploaded her video to Youtube last July. Although some accused her of washing her dirty linen in public, Women’s Aid praised her courage for speaking out about her former partner’s violence and said it had seen a rise in calls to its domestic violence helpline. Francis Usanga, her former partner and the man who gave her the black eye, was questioned by gardai (although not charged), and despite talk of deportation, he remains in Ireland, and is attending anger management classes. Following his trial by social media, the press announced that his reputation was now ruined, but violent men don’t always lose their reputations.
The Independent said that Emma was “lucky” in a way to have something visible, proof that someone had hit her; many people are abused in controlling and manipulative ways, but no one knows about it, because “there’s nothing to see.” I am interested primarily in how domestic (and particularly men’s) violence is dealt with in church settings, and although this article is aimed at Irish readers, it draws on a range of literature and cases from the U.K. and the U.S. The nature of hidden abuse is a prevalent theme when it comes to churches, and I’ve come across two such stories, the first is from the U.S., the second from Scotland:Another woman had left her husband a year before. During her marriage [] her husband frequently abused her – psychologically and physically, in ways that didn’t show – for her “imperfections”. They were both very active in a church, and she sought help from their minister. Her husband was a pillar of the community, though: active, upstanding, and decent. She maintained that he was crazy, but she was the one who appeared crazy. The minister and the congregation supported her husband. After 9 years of calling a domestic violence hot line, she finally left him and the church.
* Full article available in printed copies.